Summer of Reunions

September 25, 2018 by Catherine Onyemelukwe

Candles for the 28 Highlands classmates who have died

Highlands High School Reunion

Do you attend reunions?

This summer had several, two I attended on my own, and two with Clem.

Yale School of Management Class of 1988 30th reunion in May
Friends of Nigeria and Peace Corps in July
Clem’s DMGS (Dennis Memorial Grammar School) in August
Highlands High School Reunion of Class of 1958 in Fort Thomas, Kentucky this past weekend

Highlands High School, Fort Thomas, Kentucky

I’ve written about the others. This one had a special challenge.

Appreciative Inquiry

On Friday evening I sat with a group of six or seven classmates. I don’t recall how the conversation turned to politics. Maybe it was about Judge Kavanagh.

One man said, “I’ve been getting together with seven other guys from our class for breakfast once a week for years. We all hated Obama. And we knew if Hillary got elected, it would be a complete disaster.”

Linda, sitting across from me, and I got up, muttering something about wanting to get a drink.

Later I emailed my fellow Unitarian Church board member, KC. She has spoken often about appreciative inquiry. I asked her what I could have done to have a conversation instead of walking away.

She said:

“While I am not an expert on Appreciative Inquiry, I do like the basic premise of starting from a positive experience and working forward. Further, I am usually successful in finding some common ground with most folks. So, my recommendation for some questions is to find out what it was that they liked about former Presidents Bush and Reagan and see if you can build a conversation based on those experiences.

1. It sounds like you were more pleased with the Bush and Reagan presidencies. What was it about those presidents that you related to and think are important in a president?

2. Are you comfortable with the way our country is today and if not, how can America get back to the values that are important to you as an American?”

I was ready for Saturday night, but the topic never came up. Still, I’m sure there will be a time for this approach and I won’t forget her advice.

Neil and Brenda, My Marketing Team!

I took a Selfie of Neil and me after dinner

At Saturday night’s dinner, I sat with Elwyn, or Dr. Berlekamp, as Bill Waddell, the MC, kept calling him. Also at the table were Jim Faulkner, Neil Schwertman, Rick West (from the class of 1960 or ’61), and two women. Susan Bertlesman was one, I believe, but I can’t recall who the other was! Please help me if you know!

I was glad for a conversation with Elwyn who gave me my first consulting job after I finished my MBA at Yale.

Neil had read my memoir. He said he took it on a cruise, thinking it would last the whole time at sea. “But I couldn’t put it down and finished in the first three days,” he said. He convinced Jim to buy a copy.

Brenda Wolf was one of the five classmates who came to my book talk in the Cincinnati area three years ago. I enjoyed speaking with her on Saturday. I believe she persuaded Barbara Barlow to buy a copy.

I loved signing them for my classmates!

A Mistake to Correct

One friend, however, surprised me. “You should be careful naming people and saying things about them. You mischaracterized my attitude to race in your memoir!” she said. I was apologized and promised to correct the text.

Nigerian vs. American Reunion: Community vs. Individualism

The sense of community at the DMGS reunion was striking. The alumni, called “Old Boys,” greeted each other easily and noisily! They came from many years, and from all over the US. But they shared their love of DMGS. They called out the motto, Lux Fiat! to each other.

The Highlands reunion was quieter and more restrained, as one would expect. Still, we were all from the same class. Yet I don’t think we shared the deep sense of connection that DMGS “Old Boys” have with each other. We are more likely to focus on individual merit among our classmates.

Katie Nzekwu

Katie Nzekwu at Fort Thomas Coffee on Monday morning

Three years ago I noticed the Igbo name of a child in a photo in the Fort Thomas Kentucky “Traditions,” the publication sent out by the education department. I found an address for the parents. Katie, the mother, said to get in touch when I was next in Cincinnati.

On Monday I met her at Fort Thomas Coffee. We shared our stories. She hasn’t been to Nigeria but is eager to go despite concerns about Boko Haram, kidnapping, and armed robbery.

She started a nonprofit two years. As her profile on LinkedIn says, the organization exists to “help the hardest-to-reach young men succeed by creating a coordinated network of support and enrichment opportunities.” I loved seeing her dedication and enthusiasm as she described her work.

I gave her a copy of my memoir. And we will stay in touch.

My Sister, Her Family, and a Friend

In addition to the reunion, I had another major reason for the visit to Cincinnati. My sister lives there! I’ll write about her, her family and friends next time!

Author: Catherine Onyemelukwe

Author, blogger, speaker. Born in New York, grew up in mid west United States, lived in Nigeria for 24 years, back in U.S. since 1986. Advocate for racial justice.