Losing Friends

Losing Friends and Colleagues

At my age, it’s not surprising that friends and colleagues pass away. But it’s still sad when I learn of the death of someone I knew.

Lagos, Unitarian and Facebook Friend

One of my first non-Peace Corps American friends in Lagos was George Butler. On the second floor of Kingsway Department Store, buying tennis balls, I heard his American accent. I made a comment about the price. “Just like 99 cents is supposed to be a bargain!” I said, or something like that. We continued our conversation. Soon Clem and I became friends with him and his wife Ruth.

Many years later we visited them in Nyack, not too far from our home, occasionally. George died a few years ago.

They introduced us to Mike and Norma Briggs, both English but long-time Americans by then. I wasn’t sure of their dates in Lagos, but read in his obiturary: “In 1962, the family moved to Lagos, Nigeria, where Mike worked on a Ford Foundation grant to help set up a national library.” They came to our wedding in Lagos in 1964.

We didn’t know them as well as we knew the Butlers. But 8 years ago I was at the Unitarian-Universalist General Assembly in Portland, Oregon. Standing in the line at the lunch counter, I noticed the name tag of the man in front of me: Mike Briggs. He saw my name a second later.

We had a lovely conversation. Norma was with him. Mike and I and their daughter Carolyn became Facebook friends. We rarely corresponded directly, but I loved seeing his news. I knew he had moved to a senior living facility a few years ago and was still an active musician, playing his recorder or the piano for many events.

His daughter posted the news of his death on Facebook and I found his obituary online.

Yale SOM Colleague Marsha Roth

Marsha and I were the elders in our class at the Yale School of Management. We were both well into our 40s, she a few months older than me.  We graduated with our MPPM degrees in 1988.

Though I didn’t know her well, we had shared the two years of hard work. When I was on my way to Mount Holyoke College for a meeting 15 years ago, I visited her. She and her husband lived in Longmeadow, Massachusetts. She moved to Florida a couple of years after he died.

I was sorry to learn of her death. Her obituary is from the Springfield, Massachusetts funeral home.

Cousin-in-Law Connie Thompson

John Thompson, the oldest of my five Thompson cousins, was married to Connie early on. They’ve been divorced for ever.

But she stayed in touch with the family. I met her when my mother and I went to the memorial for my aunt Elizabeth more than 30 years ago. I wasn’t in direct contact with her at all. But I do follow her children on Facebook.

I tried once to organize a reunion of the cousins and our offspring, but failed! Maybe I’ll try again some day.

Widows Among Our Sister Grannies

In my group of eight Sister Grannies, four became widows in the last two years. Judy, Ellie, Susan and Barbara all lost their husbands. Judy’s marriage, her second, was recent; she and Bill had been together only for the last decade. The others were in long marriages.

Although it wasn’t the topic for our meeting last Monday, we spent a lot of time talking about loss.

Husband of Peace Corps Colleague

During Peace Corps training we had linguists who instructed us in the languages of the regions of Nigeria where we would serve. We also had native language speakers to assist. When the native speaker was a skilled linguist, the two roles were combined.

I found this in a message from one of our Friends of Nigeria members.

“Ifeanyi Menkiti was an Igbo tutor for Nigeria 23 in Atlanta in 1966 and possibly other groups. Three of us attended his funeral in June in Cambridge, MA, and heard his widow Carol, an RPCV, and his four adult children remember this distinguished man. He had a PhD from Harvard and was the Chair of the Philosophy Department at Wellesley College before his retirement. He and Carol owned the historic Grolier Bookshop near Harvard Square.

His widow Carol was in my training group but I don’t remember her. The Friends of Nigeria website has lots of photos, so I searched for her.

The photo I found has me in it! This was at our reunion in Boston around 2010.

Losses Among Nigerians in South Africa

There has been violence in South Africa in recent weeks. Africans from other countries, including Nigeria, are being attacked and some killed.

The nationals from other countries are calling on the South African government and their own countries to put an end to the aggression.

According to the article in Al Jazeera News, the black South Africans are accusing other African nationals of taking the scarce jobs and taxing government services.

This is not the first time. “In 2008, at least 62 people, including South Africans, were killed. Violence and looting targeting foreign-owned stores left seven dead in 2015,” the article said.

Nigeria’s President Buhari is due to visit South Africa next month to discuss the situaion. Meanwhile, Air Peace, a Nigerian airline, has provided free flights to evacuate Nigerians.