Letter to My Granddaughters

Letter to My Granddaughters

I’ve told you before, I’m sure, about my Sister Grandmas. We meet monthly. We drink wine, eat appetizers, and read our essays on a chosen topic aloud. Then we engage in a lively discussion, eat dinner, drink more wine and choose the next month’s topic.

We discuss our families and our lives. Sometimes we address issues of aging – we are all grandmothers, after all. World affairs may come up, or community questions.

I want to share a little of what I wrote for our meeting last night when the topic was “A Letter to Grandchildren.” My letter was addressed to my two granddaughters. Nkiru is 19 and a sophomore at Syracuse University. Teya is 9, and in Class 5 at St. Saviours School in Lagos.

Climate Change

I started with a warning.

Whatever else you do and become, I hope that you will make yourselves activists for your own future and the lives of your children on this planet. I am ashamed of what we are leaving you with. How could we have ignored the warnings, the scientists’ messages for so long? Since the 1980s the impact of human activity on the climate has been known. Yet our leaders either deny it or ignore the impact. So go to work – don’t let your children live or die in a vastly depleted world. Read articles like this one in The New York Times.

The article says that the damage is happening faster than anticipated in developed and developing countries, including the tropics. Vote for candidates who understand the importance of addressing the human impact on our earthly home and all its inhabitants. See where you can educate others and make your views known.

After that dire opening, I told them a story:

We had an early morning ritual when Nkiru was little and visiting with her parents. I would get up when she woke, and we would make tea together. She stood beside me as I boiled the water, placed the tea bag in the pot, and poured her cup of tea. She added her own milk and sugar; then we sat together to drink our tea before her parents were up.

I’m telling this story so you will consider finding rituals your children can do with your own mothers when they become grandmothers.

And on Racism

I also wrote to them about racism.

Teya, you live now where you are part of the dominant group. You will probably live in the US at some point. You will encounter the racism that continues to plague us. Let Nkiru help you learn to navigate in this world.

Nkiru, you have visited Nigeria often so you have experienced what it is like for a Black person to be in a place where you are part of the dominant culture. I want to share with you a piece, again from The New York Times, by a Black American woman who visited Ghana and Nigeria for the first time. She said,

“Through it all I reflected on what life would be like if I lived in a nation where I was part of the dominant racial group. In Nigeria or Ghana, I would be one drop in the sea of black people at every event I attended and in every social situation. I wouldn’t be subjected to as many off-color remarks and subtly bigoted insults. I wouldn’t have to question whether I should respond to those or stay quiet to avoid being judged through the lens of racist stereotypes. I wouldn’t wonder whether people would think I’d been hired as a token rather than for my potential.”

Then I told them of a dream I had:

I imagine a day when the two of you, Nkiru and Teya, will organize regular trips to West Africa for Black Americans and others in the Diaspora who want to feel the power of being part of the dominant group. You will demonstrate how to bring that experience back to the US to enlighten white Americans who don’t understand what being in a minority is like. I have a name for your organization – Breaking Kola. 

I ended my letter with this:

Love life. Embrace family and friends, share your victories and defeats with others, be proud of who you are. You are both amazing people. Let your confidence shine.

Shall I send them the letter? Or send it to Nkiru and send to Teya when she is older?

Do you have suggestions of topics for us Sister Grandmas to write about? It doesn’t have to involve grandparenting!

Nigerian Entrepreneur and His Dolls

Paul Orajiaka was a speaker at Yale’s School of Management Tuesday morning. He is founder and CEO of Auldon Toys, a Nigerian company.

Even if I hadn’t had a TEAM Westport meeting at 8 this morning, I don’t think I would have driven to New Haven for an 8:30 presentation. But I was intrigued.

Orajiaka was profiled in Forbes recently. He started the company 19 years ago. They manufacture African-themed dolls and toys “which depict, promote and teach Africa’s cultural heritage to children,” the article says.

“We felt there were things inherent about us that we wanted to show off,” Orajiaka said in an article in African Exponent.

I wonder if he’ll bring his dolls to the US. I’d help spread the word!