Simon Ottenberg, Anthropologist

Expert on Igbo Culture Simon Ottenberg

Simon Ottenberg and his wife Phoebe taught us anthropology during Peace Corps training in 1962! Now as I edit my book on Igbo customs, I think of them often.

In 2015 he was presented with an award by the Afikpo Organization, Inc. He holds a chieftaincy title from Afikpo, an Igbo town.

In his acceptance speech, he said, “I was welcomed very openly when I went to your community as a naïve young American anthropologist. My work would not have been possible without the help of some of your ancestors!”

The award was for his work in making African customs, especially their own Igbo customs, well-known and respected. Today he is emeritus professor of Anthropology at the University of Washington, Seattle, where he was a faculty member from 1955-1991. He was still publishing in 2014.

“His books testify to the originality of Ottenberg’s insights and chronicle his transformation from a young anthropologist observer to a valued member of the Afikpo-Igbo society,” I found on Amazon. You can see a list of all his books on Amazon.

I love the way he wove in respect for ancestors in his speech. Simon and Phoebe Ottenberg taught us that this respect, even veneration, is central to Igbo spiritual practice.

In my 24 years in Nigeria I came to understand fully respect for ancestors as a core of Igbo life.

Margaret Anderson, The Persuasion Coach

Three years ago I became acquainted with Margaret Anderson. I read something in her blog that made me write to her, I think. We’ve been reading each other’s posts since then. We began a correspondence apart from our blogs.

We blog about different topics. I find her work as a “Persuasion Coach” fascinating. She enjoys reading about Nigeria and U.S. racism in my blog. We worked together with Iyabo Obasanjo on a proposal for a workshop at the 2017 Unitarian Universalist General Assembly last year, though it wasn’t accepted.

In 2016 she interviewed me for her blog, I wrote about it. Now I’ve had the opportunity to interview her!

I share the first part of our interview here. Next time, I’ll post another section, and I’ll put the whole interview on a linked page, so you can read it all at one time if you wish.

CO  I’ve been enjoying your book, Love on the Rocks with a Twist—Delightful Fiction with Lessons on Dealing with Others. Some of my questions come from your stories and the study questions you include with each.

But first, remind me how we became acquainted. I believe it was through your blog. Is that your recollection?

MEA  Thank you, Catherine. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the book. I believe that, in one of my blog posts, I cited a reference from the U.S. National Committee for UN Women that drew your attention.

CO  I must ask something that I have wanted to know since I “met” you. How did you become a “Persuasion Coach”?

MEA In a former job, I negotiated, but never felt comfortable with the competitive system I now call “Number Line Tug-of-War.” How much to exaggerate an opening offer? How to determine a bottom (or top) line? Mostly, it was guess-work.

The 1983 publication of Getting to Yes, by Harvard professors Roger Fisher and William Ury, moved me off the number line to an interest-driven system. I liked it so much that I took Dr. Fisher’s continuing ed course in Basic Negotiation at Harvard.

We practiced negotiating with partners two or three times a day for a whole week. I realized that trying to use the system from the book had been like trying to learn to drive from a book. The hands-on exercises were like getting in a car and practicing in an empty parking lot. I followed up with Dr. Ury’s course in Advanced Negotiation.

I started getting more of what I wanted from others, often without any compromise, in every area of life. The skills changed my life so profoundly they inspired me to create a second career. I began training groups, and coaching and consulting with individuals on consensus, persuasion and related communication skills.

I developed all my own materials, drawing not only on the Harvard sources, but also various types of mediation training, as well as works on factors that affect communication, such as temperament, culture, and brain science.

There’s no common term for what I do. My card reads “Trainer – Author – Consultant.” But the same skill set can look like consensus building, persuasion, negotiation or conflict resolution to different clients and trainees. I wanted something shorter for my web address, even if it didn’t tell the whole story. I came up with “persuasioncoach.com.”

CO  What made you decide to write Love on the Rocks with a Twist? How long did it take you to write all those lovely stories? Was your purpose to teach readers about reaching consensus successfully?

MEA  I wrote most of the stories for my own pleasure. I thought about publishing an anthology, but most people can’t think of someone having more than one profession.  If people thought I was a “Fiction Writer,” they’d forget the unfamiliar term “Persuasion Coach.”

Watch for more from and about Margaret next time!